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Valentine’s day quickly and painlessly!!!

Ornella Koktová
30.Jan 2019
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2 minutes

Valentine’s day is one day in the year one half of the population (women) look forward to, and other would rather bury it 10 feet under. I’m not the type of woman, who’s really into this holiday, and also I have no other choice. I’m not a sceptic, I’m just admitting the reality of it. Thirty years since the revolution is still quite a short time to expect changes.

If you want to avoid this day and live a normal February 14th without Valentine’s, you can do the following:

Why to celebrate?
Go away!
Even Marilyn didn't like this day

1. Date – or even better – marry a person, who spent a part of his life living during socialism.

Back then, we used to celebrate the First of May (První Máj), and some Anglo-Saxon holiday was of no interest to us. Therefore you’d be sure to take a wide birth from any clichés in the form of red wine, roses, and uninteresting boxes of chocolate on the coffee table. (Of course, he forgot and has no idea what’s going on!) What I really hate about this day, is the conventional pressure to have a ‘romantic’ mood precisely on that one night...

2. Forget about social media for once.

The media gets overfilled with various lovey-dovey hashtags, proclamations, and eye-burning love selfies, and in the worst case with interactive GIFS, which are sent in heaps by girlfriends in the hope that today is the day they will change their pitiful fate. You know this as well, I’m sure: ‘Send this collage to ten people within five minutes and you will meet the love of your life.’ To hell with that!

Prodej funkcionalistické vily Praha - 360m
Prodej funkcionalistické vily Praha - 360m, Praha 8

3. Don’t leave the house after seven in the afternoon.

Are you alone, did your partner break up with you, or is your other half simply not into this holiday?! In the moment, when you create an isolated and comfortable world, you will easily forget all those snogging couples on every corner.

4. Do not go into restaurants!!!

Valentine’s day menu for two, Valentine’s decorations, Valentine’s 1 drink plus the other one free. You don’t want to risk being dragged to the police station after hitting a poor waiter, who asked you if you’re actually going to eat alone...

5) Turn on the TV.

It is a well-known fact, that lately the TV program isn’t worth a damn. So the ideal choice is to put on the good old series ‘Bakaláři‘ (Graduates), or the rough Game of Thrones on HBO. All of a sudden, the holiday of ‘love’ will disappear into a cloud of smoke. Understandably, the movies ‘The Notebook’, ‘Titanic’, ‘Legends of the Fall’, ‘Ghost’ or ‘The Great Gatsby’, ARE OFF LIMITS!!!

So in this way, I’d like to announce the successful start of the Anti Valentine’s day!

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Cover Story: Anti Valentýn – NE lásce na povel!
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