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How love can destroy you

FAIR AND SQUARE: I was in love with a psychopath or When life gives you a beating

Anděla Vostrá
14.Jun 2020
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3 minutes to read
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Když milujete psychopata...

I am a romantic at the bottom of my soul, although I don‘t look like one at first glance, and probably not at second glance either. I believe that love exits, I believe that one has the right to be happy, to love and be loved. Yes, I had a boyfriend and it‘s over. We all know what it‘s like, we‘ve all experienced something similar. There is no cure for a broken heart, except for time of course. As the saying goes, time is a great healer. It‘s mostly true. But what if, in addition to a broken heart, you also have a broken psyche?

I know these people exist, I've heard about them many times. I've seen movies about them, read articles about them. But it would never have occurred to me that it was really happening and, what‘s more, that it would happen to me, because I have a very good people instinct.

You know what? I have shit. I simply happened to meet a great guy that I fell in love with. I feel the need to stress that I hadn‘t given anyone the chance to mess with my head like this for many, many years. He didn‘t even have to work for it. Everyone would want a guy like him! Good looking, well built, well behaved, well situated. He cleaned the house, cooked, paid for everything, our intimate life couldn‘t be more perfect, he wanted children, he wanted to get married. An ideal partner.

Luxusní byt na prodej Praha - 320m
Luxusní byt na prodej Praha - 320m, Praha 5

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Vědí, jak si vás omotat kolem prstu.
Vědí, jak si vás omotat kolem prstu.Source: Pixabay

But then corona hit and after that, a girl knocked on my door, much younger than me, and informed me that my boyfriend was kind of living with her, too. Actually, he was living mainly with her. And he also wanted to marry her and give her children. It didn‘t matter that she was from out of town, she wouldn‘t mind moving to Prague. Well, my friends, my world pretty much fell into pieces in that moment. Teeny tiny pieces. It burned down like a house of cards. This perfect guy had been living with that pretty little thing almost for the entirety of our relationship. She had known about me for quite some time, but he kept promising her that he would break up with me, which I had no clue about, because our coronavirus weekends were great.

Scales fell from my eyes

It doesn't matter that he was spending the week days with her, not with his parents who lived on the country, and that she waited for him hand and foot. The tables have turned. Anyway, even though I'm not a pillar of mental strength, it wouldn‘t have taken much for me to find a new home in Bohnice. However, I decided to analyze the problem and started interviewing my girl friends. What I discovered was even scarier than my current situation.

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Láska má blízko k nenávisti.
Láska má blízko k nenávisti. Source: Pixabay

Pretty much every other girl has a similar experience, most of them with much harsher consequences than just a broken heart. Many of these women have a child or a mortgage with a sociopath devoid of any kind of emotions and feelings. Those who had the strength to pick themselves up and leave are still paying off their exe's debts. Some decided to stay, because they have no other choice, they are dependent on these monsters, financially of course, because it‘s pretty hard to earn enough money to pay your rent and all the other stuff in Prague, when you‘re still breastfeeding.

There‘s no cure, and no way to tell

And then I talked to one person about whom I knew that she‘d been through living hell, but never gave up and kept fighting. And she emerged victorious. She found a great partner, got married, and now they have a house and a baby together. I described the situation to her and she put her face in her palms, saying: So you, too, came across a manipulator? It's crazy, they're everywhere, they'll gonna devour us one day. Which made me realize that her fairy tale had no happy ending either.

She informed me that it wasn‘t my fault, because guys of this type are extremely smart - they listen to us, take mental notes and then they behave exactly the way we want them to. Until they get us where they want us. To the bottom. And then they start draining us. Of whatever we have to offer, be it love, money or simply a proof of their dominance and power. It makes them feel good. But all this time, they remain emotionless. They don't care that their behavior towards us is hurtful, harmful and degrading. Due to a miserable childhood, the lobe in the back of the brain that produces emotions never had the chance to develop. Therefore, they don‘t even realize that they‘re doing something wrong or cruel, and there‘s no pill or therapy for that.

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Z vysněného prince se během chvíle stane nežádoucí ďábel.
Z vysněného prince se během chvíle stane nežádoucí ďábel. Source: Pixabay

Love exists

Anyhow, I believe in karma. Sometimes you have to walk away and let karma take over. I believe that if you behave badly, something bad will come back to you. And I also believe that true love exists. I can see it practically all around me, but I didn't notice it due to the dark glasses this made me wear.

And now I have a question for you. Have you ever met a manipulator? No matter whether male or female, because, of course, there are women who treat men in such a disgusting and callous manner. How did you manage to shake off the hopelessness that comes after the awakening?

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