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Photos with a whale penis, a cock camera, marriage with a chandelier, a doll instead of a baby?

FAIR AND SQUARE: Cameras on your bits and artificial children! Has the world gone mad, or just the people living on it?!

Anděla Vostrá
24.Sep 2019
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4 minutes
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Je dnes šílený svět nebo lidi v něm?

I have something to share with you. Right now! I came across a not just crazy, but reeeeeally crazy thing. I mean, I know Christmas is literally beyond the door, I've already seen the first Christmas advertisement on TV and spotted unwrapped chocolate Christmas tree collections in the store, but marketers abroad managed to be one step ahead. One dinosaur-sized step! You can't wait for me to tell you, huh? So ladies, and... actually maybe even gentlemen... This year, under the Christmas tree, you definitely want - or better yet, need - to find: "The Cock Camera!"

Jedno může být vaše, za desítky tisíc korun.
Největší penis na světě - plejtváka. Nechci ho potkat při koupání!
Umělý penis s kamerkou pro intergalaktické domácí porno.

Pretty messed up, huh? I understand that all of us enjoy looking at breathtaking shots of landscapes, jumps from towers, sea cliffs or unconventional images from the horseback, through a dog's eyes and from the perspective of wild animals. Now, however, a camera intended for wilderness of a different kind is coming to the global e-market - one that serves for the sole purpose of recording intimate memories from a different angle.

It even has wifi!

The penis GoPro (which is also suitable for a strap on!) can boast really great technical equipment. The intimate camera has night vision, and enables you to play your erotic footage directly and store it on your mobile device. Don't worry - The Cock Camera is also equipped with a highly secure mobile application compatible with both iOS and Android. The unconventional director's aid is mounted on a comfortable penis ring, records in HD quality and even has WiFi. According to the company's website, it »really takes your erotic home videos to the next level«.

Prodej luxusního bytu 5+kk Praha 7 - Bubeneč
Prodej luxusního bytu 5+kk Praha 7 - Bubeneč, Praha 7

After watching the promo video my jaw literally fell to the floor. I guarantee that yours would have, too!

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GoPro na penis.
GoPro na penis.Source: Instagram

Inflatable dolls

I have nothing against the bizarre. Without it, the Internet would be quite a boring place, nothing but wikipedia everywhere...

Moreover, pretty much everyone likes sexual themes that Big Brother can't block. For instance, I couldn't believe my own eyes when a brothel with inflatable dolls opened in Prague! I understand that the owners of the enterprise didn't want to be publicly disclosed because they would have immediately earned the label "creepy pigs", but they are known to be Czech... Praise the proverbial golden Czech hands and our ingenuity! We won't get lost in this big wide world, because selling an hour with an inflatable redhead for 1.900 crowns, no matter how much she might resemble an actual person, that's the kind of thievery typical for us.

When I saw it, I was actually put off not so much by the idea itself, but by the massive media massage that came with it. A certain homosexual (!) journalist even took recorded his hour in a private room with a rubber lady and turned it into a really disgusting video.

On the other hand - in Asia, desperate guys who can't find a girlfriend actually marry these dolls, so I don't want to condemn a business idea, no matter how crazy it is.

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Vztah s nafukovací pannou je v Asii dnes už normální.
Vztah s nafukovací pannou je v Asii dnes už normální.Source: Pixabay

Relationships with inanimate objects

Just as you can bestow your billion-dollar fortune to your cat, our current laws, even if formulated a bit differently in each country, allow people, for example, to marry an inanimate object.

Which reminds me of another story that made me simultaneously cry and laugh - 35-year-old Amanda from London recently ended her relationship with the Statue of Liberty and fell in love with another unusual object - her own chandelier. To add insult to injury, she also claimed to be sexually attracted to that monstrosity.

To think that I sometimes feel like a freak when I want people to meet their deadlines or stuff like that...

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Britka a její láska - lustr.
Britka a její láska - lustr. Source: Facebook

The penis museum

And for those who think they've been everywhere, seen everything and nothing can surprise them anymore - pack your cabin luggage, that's gonna suffice, and go to Iceland. That's where you will find the largest penis collection in the world! Ladies, before you look at the whale monster, find out where the toilets are... not everyone has a strong enough stomach, whereas our imagination tends to know no limits. The largest exhibit of the museum is the penis of a blue whale, which weighs 70 kilograms and measures 170 centimeters. Now you get me, right?

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Penis ze zlata...
Penis ze zlata...Source: Facebook

Dolls instead of children

You know what's really insane? Somewhere in Moravia lives a mom with her daughter, who let themselves be called by the official term "rebornists", and they produce custom-made dolls that are indistinguishable from real babies! For tens of thousands of crowns. Making such a baby is no easy task, you know, it takes a while to insert the hairs in its little head one by one using a needle. The most frequent customers are infertile women, who would like to have a baby, but nature didn't grant them a husband or a healthy enough body. Daughters of old mothers also like to order them, so that the granny would have something to cheer her up in the old people's home. I find it's quite a nice idea in theory, but the reality is quite horrible...

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No nejsou tahle děťátka rozkošná? Až na to, že jsou z plastu...
No nejsou tahle děťátka rozkošná? Až na to, že jsou z plastu...Source: Facebook

To sum it up. The bizarre moves the world. Whether it's a crazy song that someone actually meant seriously or an insanity of the sexual or emotional kind. Most of the people who create this bizarre are, in my opinion, mentally ill, or have lower IQ than others, who can see that the thing is simply not normal. Then again, what is normal? From the psychological point of view, human normality has never been delineated, so we have no right to judge anyone for anything, unless he or she doesn't violate the law or impose limits on another person with his/her crzy actions.

So I'm really looking forward to Christmas and my boyfriend's expression when he unwraps his cock camera. :-D

What's your experience with the bizarre? Drop me a comment...

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