Most of us know at least one woman who's been through it. Perhaps it even happened to us. An overwhelming love, a romance for the ages, which was soon replaced by a feeling of hopelessness and inferiority. These feelings have been evoked in us by the person whom we loved infinitely, or still do. Even though he treats us like a filthy rag. People who are capable of humiliating others like this are called psychopaths.
There are some women among them, but according to experts, men predominate twofold and they make up about four percent of the population. A psychopath is a person swho suffers from a serious form of a particular personality disorder; his or her behavior shows deviations from common behavioral patterns, thinking and acting towards themselves, towards others and in certain situations. Their personality is unbalanced.
"The first symptoms often appear in childhood and persist into adulthood. The causes include hereditary and psychosocial influences, i.e. education, as well as severe, long-term stress,"
describes mediator Kateřina Bělková, who works with psychopaths.
Happiness was replaced by shock
Many women face the consequences of such a person's behavior. In the beginning, they're enjoying the greatest love of all. They get married, have a baby and move to their dream house. They devote themselves completely to their husband, their new life. They are happy. And then they suddenly wake up in Hell.
"I came to realize that I had married a man I didn't know at all. He was showering me with love, promising me a happily ever after. And out of the blue, he turned into a whole different person. A person who had never really loved me, who didn't care what me and the children were going to do, where we would live. He is completely emotionless."
a woman who is currently experiencing a painful divorce and recovering from the shock with the help of a psychologist and mediator confided in LP-life.com.
You've found your other half
Kateřina Bělková knows this behavior well. She hears similar stories daily in her office. When you meet a psychopath, in the first phase of the so-called Lovebombing, the man's behaviour can make the woman feel literally like a goddess - he provides her with everything she needs, from love and empathy to wonderful gifts. You feel like you've found your other half.
"While you believe that you've entered the relationship of your dreams, full of endless, unconditional love, the psychopath doesn't feel any emotional ties any he is capable of leaving you at any time without any emotions attached. He feels no remorse, he simply needs you to become a source to feed on, use, exploit, and later, when he's wrapped you around his finger, to mistreat,"
explains the mediator.
Your love begins to humiliate you
Once the psychopath knows that he has won you over and that you can't escape from his web, it's time for him to start showing you his true face. And that includes humiliation, criticism, mental blackmail, making you look like a fool. He cheats and lies. Often, he's promiscuous. There's a vast array of things that the victim who doesn't understand what's going on and why has to suffer through.
If at this stage the partner still has something useful or advantageous his partner can offer him, the intermediary phase of the so-called "Intermittent Reinforcement" follows, when the psychopath lets his victim have a taste of the behaviour he'd displyed in the phase of Lovebombing again. She returns to him, full of hope, only to be thrown into another phase of humiliation, and so an and so forth, until the victim has been sucked dry. At this point, she either runs away from him, or the psychopath rejects her, or smoothly exchanges her for a new victim.
Find me in the darkness
Actress Vlastina Svátková also devotes herself to this topic.
"Many women who live in a relationship with a manipulator write to me. Those stories are unreal. Some even had to fear for their lives, others had their health ruined. It's a lot to take in. After numerous discussions with experts, I wrote a book on this endless topic, Najdeš mě ve tmě (Find Me in the Darkness). In it, I describe all the phases of such a person's behavior. I know it's hard to recognize him, and it's even harder to get along with him or live with him. I hope it will provide some help to everyone who needs it,"
said the actress, who will hold a launch party for her new book tomorrow, September 22, in the newly opened STARS LOVERS & FRIENDS space in Albertov, Prague.